I did not change, I grew.
More than once I was told, "You've changed"
It always hurt. Why is it that when someone doesn't agree with what you are doing they have to throw out a safety net for their own sake using the word change, especially in a negative setting. Why in society is it still okay that we use phrases like "you have changed" to cover up the fact that you are just judging?
Don't do it. If you come up to me and look at me like I have done something wrong to you by living my life the way I know best and say "You've changed." Your going to get slapped upside the head with whatever object is closest. I have not changed, but you obviously have not stop judging.
Trust me I know, I out of a million people have been the one to make the dumbest choices. I have screwed up too many times to count and I have let multiple people down.
Want to know the difference between your judgments and my choices?
Your judgment caused an action that stemmed from hate, I made a choice took whichever form of consequence it gave me and grew from it.
"Changed" : To make the form, nature, content, future course ect., of (something) different from what it is, or form what it would be if left alone.
I can change my hair, I can lose 70 pounds and change the way I look, I can choose to make dumb decisions and then change my course and start choosing right, I can change any something I want, but what I cannot change is me.
No matter what choice I choose, It is still me choosing it. I cannot change into a completely different person... the spirit God gave me and the body I was born in is always going to be the same. It definitely has some wear and tear on it, but it's still me. Maybe that body looks different and its actions are different than the ones from five years ago, but its still me. I am still there.
So when you say I have changed, I haven't. My actions, words and appearance may have, but not me. I am still in here.
Grow-ing: becoming greater in quantity, size, extent, or intensity.
That right there should tell you everything you need to know, or focus on. Those first two words. Becoming greater.
All of those choices I made and the way I was living my life might not have always been the greatest, but I grew from each of them. There was a times when I felt stuck. I was even frustrated with myself and just trying to figure out my way. I hadn't changed, my choices may have, but I was still in there. You probably couldn't see it then, but in those times I was growing.
In those times I needed you. I needed you to be there to cheer me on, remind me of who I am and what I stand for, to be there to hold my hand and lift me up. The very last thing I needed was to hear those words of you giving up on me and band-aiding your judgment.
It was always me in there and I was just becoming greater. Looking at me at 17 years old to now shows it. It took me four years of high school and a semester of adulthood to grow into me as a wife. It took a year of being a wife, being selfish and figuring out marriage to become me as a mother. It took me as a wife, me as a mother and me as a person living on this earth for 23 years to become me as a writer and an advocate of motherhood, fitness and pure happiness.
It all took ME. Who I am, the person who changed her attitude, not herself.
Here is one thing that you can always count from me. No matter what you do, if you change your hair, gain/ loose any weight, make a wrong choices/choices, or maybe find yourself in a spot where you are growing...just know I can see you. You are still in there and I will be there to grow with you.
-Kayleen
It always hurt. Why is it that when someone doesn't agree with what you are doing they have to throw out a safety net for their own sake using the word change, especially in a negative setting. Why in society is it still okay that we use phrases like "you have changed" to cover up the fact that you are just judging?
Don't do it. If you come up to me and look at me like I have done something wrong to you by living my life the way I know best and say "You've changed." Your going to get slapped upside the head with whatever object is closest. I have not changed, but you obviously have not stop judging.
Trust me I know, I out of a million people have been the one to make the dumbest choices. I have screwed up too many times to count and I have let multiple people down.
Want to know the difference between your judgments and my choices?
Your judgment caused an action that stemmed from hate, I made a choice took whichever form of consequence it gave me and grew from it.
"Changed" : To make the form, nature, content, future course ect., of (something) different from what it is, or form what it would be if left alone.
I can change my hair, I can lose 70 pounds and change the way I look, I can choose to make dumb decisions and then change my course and start choosing right, I can change any something I want, but what I cannot change is me.
No matter what choice I choose, It is still me choosing it. I cannot change into a completely different person... the spirit God gave me and the body I was born in is always going to be the same. It definitely has some wear and tear on it, but it's still me. Maybe that body looks different and its actions are different than the ones from five years ago, but its still me. I am still there.
So when you say I have changed, I haven't. My actions, words and appearance may have, but not me. I am still in here.
Grow-ing: becoming greater in quantity, size, extent, or intensity.
That right there should tell you everything you need to know, or focus on. Those first two words. Becoming greater.
All of those choices I made and the way I was living my life might not have always been the greatest, but I grew from each of them. There was a times when I felt stuck. I was even frustrated with myself and just trying to figure out my way. I hadn't changed, my choices may have, but I was still in there. You probably couldn't see it then, but in those times I was growing.
In those times I needed you. I needed you to be there to cheer me on, remind me of who I am and what I stand for, to be there to hold my hand and lift me up. The very last thing I needed was to hear those words of you giving up on me and band-aiding your judgment.It was always me in there and I was just becoming greater. Looking at me at 17 years old to now shows it. It took me four years of high school and a semester of adulthood to grow into me as a wife. It took a year of being a wife, being selfish and figuring out marriage to become me as a mother. It took me as a wife, me as a mother and me as a person living on this earth for 23 years to become me as a writer and an advocate of motherhood, fitness and pure happiness.
It all took ME. Who I am, the person who changed her attitude, not herself.
Here is one thing that you can always count from me. No matter what you do, if you change your hair, gain/ loose any weight, make a wrong choices/choices, or maybe find yourself in a spot where you are growing...just know I can see you. You are still in there and I will be there to grow with you.
-Kayleen
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